Wait!! It's not what you think it is!!!

My previous post was about me calling a stranger (who might've been pissed off at me) on the phone. Well, this is another shitty thing that happened to me on the day after the 'phone' incident. Me and my family went to a relative's house because they invited us for an open house. It was one of my uncles who i haven't seen nor heard of since i was a baby (not that i could remember him or his family XD). Ok, let us cut through some scenes.... I was eating inside the dining room with my family and all.

After we were done, it was time to excuse ourselves.. But lets rewind the story a few minutes back, shall we? I was eating the soto (one of my favourites) and decided to add more spice to it and took a couple of table spoons of the infamous and bad ass 'lada rindu.'

I thought that it was just like any other ordinary 'lada rindu.' Man, i was wrong about that.. It turned out that the 'lada rindu' was actually made from grinding and mashing 100%, genuine and original 'lada padi'!! I was practically sheding tears~ One of my female cousins (one who i wasn't familliar with as well) saw this and burst into laughter cause she thought it was funny.

Ok, now we can press play and continue the story. Before we left we had to 'salam' the whole famly (hahaha. This is common and a must during raya, i suppose). This is where things got bad and crappy.. My uncle and auntie thought that i was actually crying because we haven't met each other for ages!! To make things worse they as well as my parents started crying as well!! How embarrassing is that??

I tried to explain it to them, but they hugged and comforted me instead. Ahh! Wtf? Screw this! Just get it over with.. T_T

There goes my pride and dignity...

Uncle, are you at home?

Ok, to be honest my first few days of raya was horrible!! I hope you guys enjoyed yours =)
Anyways, i made myself look stupid in two occassions during raya. This is how it went... On the second day of raya my dad asked me to call my unc (who i'm really close to). For some reason i dialled the wrong number. I bet you guys can guess what happened next, right?

Me: Wei!! Unc, mana kita ani?cuba tah angkat jubur kita atu~barat sgt ka?
Unc: ...............
Me: Ani kami sasat a coz kami nda tau mana rumah unc yg baru ne~
Unc: ...............
Me: Cuba kita keluar kajap and tunjukkan kepala kita yang botak a~Berkilat jua under the sun~dapat jua kami pakai utk lampu isyarat. Sanang jua ngunjar rumah kita.Hahahaha
(after a few seconds of silence)
Me: Unc?
Stranger: Maaf salah nombor kali kita ani...
Me: (crap!!)
(Activating my 'bungkis' mode)
Me: Ah.. Iaka? Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir & Batin)
*tuuut*

Then i hung up just like that! Hahaha. Shit man.. Thank God the guy didn't call back -.-"
But after that i kinda wondered if the guy really did go out of his house.. If he did, he'd most likely beat the crap out of the first guy he sees talking to a mobile phone!! XD

a funny misunderstanding.

Ever been in a situation where you told others a lengthy story only to realize that you've misunderstood what they meant and told them an irrelevant tale? Well, i have a story for you guys. Hehehe. If you understand it then laugh your asses off..However, if you can't comprehend it, i guess that is your problem then XD (just kidding)~

It was another day at Ubd, and i was just having a conversation with a couple of female friends about the horrible toilet facilities at Ubd (maintenance is poor for a high institution -.-" ). Then we narrowed the topic down to which men prefer better - the toilet seats, the standing toilet bowls, or the we have to be in a squatting position. For some reason, this 1 female friend of mine misunderstood my question when i asked her which one she preferred as a lady.. Here is an abstract of the conversation:

NB This may not be 100% accurate, but it is close enough.

*before this we talked about the toilet where you have to squat before talking about the standing one.

Me: I can never use the standing toilet bowls that other men use. I don't know why but i just can't.

F1: Same! I can't use them!! It feels like i'm being watched!

Me: .......... (wait a minute.. you're a woman..)

F1: macam.. I feel exposed to the world or something, but sometimes i do use it during 'emergencies'

Me: .......... (ok, this is weird..salah faham kali ia ne)

I can recall as much as the above (sorry). Hahaha. As for my friend, she went on and on to the point she noticed that the rest of us were laughing so hard that our faces turned red! Then i asked her, " did you REALLY use the standing toilet bowl??"

Then we told her that we were talking about the standing position for men. However, her talk about the squatting toilet sounded like she was using the standing one. XD XD XD

I just couldn't resist the temptation~

Assalamu'alaikum~ Rainbowshaker here~ How was your first day of raya? I hope it went well 4 you guys (and girls). Hehehe. Anyways, some, if not, all of you have a best friend, correct? The individual that has went through thick and thin with you, laughed with you, or even cried with you.. I myself, have a best friend, and this guy is the dude next to me in the pictures above xp and his name is Ak. Zulhelmi a.k.a Zoel~ *booooooooo* Hahaha~

Zoel was leaving 4 the Uk to continue his studies (a world filled with torment as he described it) since his holiday period came to an end. I, and the other elite members in his circle of friends, went to the airport to send him off as well as sungkai together at express~ Ok, skip the other details, bla, bla, bla~

This is the bit that made me and him laughed our heads off. A day after his departure i went online and chated with him on MSN. Somehow, for reasons that continues to ellude me till now, we ended talking about other people and their personality of how we understand people and so on. Zoel launched into a string of emotional sentences and i was reading em. You know how you are suppose to listen to people when they are talking about serious and emotional things, right? Well, i did the exact opposite thing and made a joke out it~ Hahaha. Here is the abstract from our conversation:

Zoel: I see people in a different way.
Me: How?
Zoel: Well, i just ask them to talk about the things that are bugging them.
Me: Does it really work? I mean, how do u gain their trusts?
Zoel: befriend them and promise not to tell any1 else about it.. That is how i earn their trust.
Zoel: I can see people that way..
Me: *Laughing out loud*
After a while... *puffing and trying to catch my breath*
Me: Dude!! Of course you can see people coz you are not blind!!

Hhahahaha. We both laughed. Ok, i know it was a bit disrespectful and all, but i just couldn't resist!! Of course he meant he could understand people, but i, on the other hand, took the literal meaning instead of the metaphorical meaning xp

Maybe some of you may not understand the joke, but i just couldn't resist talking about it..Sorry,zul~~Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri Maaf Zahir Dan Batin~ :)

How hard could it be?

Assalamu'alaikum. Yesterday, me and my brother (the 3rd in the family) went out 4 sungkai at the Empire Hotel (hehe. Classy, is it not?). It was quite expensive, but was worth every dime~ It was close to 30 bucks per person for a buffet! Heck, what did i care? I wasn't paying 4 it. Aku tau datang and isi parut saja. Hahaha.

We spent a lot of time eating during sungkai than usual-partly because i tried to stuff in as much of the delicious food as i could and partly because i had to wait 4 the long que to end (especially at the beef steak section *yum yum*). After that we spent a while talking. Then came the "dare." My bro asked me to smuggle something from the atrium cafe.

Being the joker (as well as ego of being the eldest) of the family i simply couldn't allow my reputation, nor my pride, to be hurt!! I accepted and much to my delight he asked me to smuggle a pair of chopsticks~ *phew* Shouldn't be a problem 4 anyone. I mean, how hard can it be to smuggle a pair of chopsticks out? *owh....so wrong was i....*

I took a few glances to my right and my left, waiting for the opportunity to slip the chopsticks under my long sleeve... Yosh! 1st stage clear~ I practically felt like a criminal~ The 2nd phase was about to commence where the plan was to slip past the front counter in a casual manner. We pierce through the crowd like an arrow piercing through an apple at a blinding speed *exaggerating*

Mwahahahaha *sinister laughter* as i thought i made it through~Then came the waiter's voice calling 4 me and my bro, "Sir, sir.., excuse me,sir..." *shit* I cringed and froze as a cold shiver ran through my spine, metaphorically speaking and not because of the air conditioners. I was thinking, "Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, #%$@!!" As i turned to my brother he too became inanimate (i bet he was thinking, " it's ok. I'll just put the blame on Mirul").

As i turned to answer the waiter's call i thought of a Dozen of excuses 4 trying to smuggle out the chopsticks!! The manager was right beside him *yipes* i'm in deep waters now T-T I braced myself 4 what he had to say, and to my surprise he said, "thank for coming and please come again." =)

Hahahaha. I got worked up for nothing! My brother was laughing so hard that he actually shed tears!! God, it was embarrassing as well as tense! Hehehe. However, on the bright side, we got the chopsticks out, did we not? Hahaha~

A rebellious "bunga api" and the human torch..

Normally, when you light up a "bunga api" you would run like hell out harm's way, right? I remember a long time ago when i was still a kid and i learned that running doesn't necessarily mean you are out of the woods yet.

Whenever raya was just around the corner me and my siblings would light up some fireworks and experimented with them from time to time. Yes, we thought that it was fun to play with fireworks (actually, i was the ring master) hehe. One evening (the night b4 raya), i was feeling more "kambang" than usual and declared that i can run away b4 the "bunga api" api lights up to my brothers~ (one of those spinning types)

I know, i know, you are probably thinking, "duh~anyone can do that (Booooo)!" But here is the catch, i cut the fuse of the "bunga api" so that it was only 0.5 cm (or less) long. My siblings were clapping their hands (either bcoz they were impressed with my valor or impressed with my stupidity) haha. Anyways, the moment of truth... *heart beating fast, adrenaline rushing, and lighter at hand*

3, 2, 1... Fire in the hole!!!!! I ran like a chicken trying to save its ass from the butcher's knife! I saw smoke accumulating as i looked behind me . I continued running 4 a few seconds and turned back only to find the smoke still close behind me.... *uh-oh...something is wrong here*

"Abang!! look down!!", said 1 of my brothers.

To my horror i've been carrying the "bunga api" with me all that time i spent running!! To make things worse, it ignited the lower part of my pajama!Talk about being "on fire!" Don't worry.. Apart from my pride, i wasn't hurt (surprisingly)..What happened was the "bunga api" flew to the folded part of pants and got caught in it! However, i was more interested in finding out why my siblings didn't say so earlier..Then 1 of my brothers came up to me:

Bro: "Abang, you know what i think?" *trying to sound innocent*
Me: "I don't know. Were you thinking holy shit, holy shit my brother is on fire, i wanna savor this moment or damn...my brother is a human torch (while laughing your asses off)?" *being sarcastic*
Bro: all of em! =) *immune to sarcasm*

Bertuah punya adik -.-

The other definition for "make up class"

Finally, a day in the fasting month where my mates and i congregated together 4 sungkai at aneka rasa (well, some of us, not all). Anyways, long story short-we had sungkai together and i made a fool out of myself *sigh*....the end.........
haha nah, just kidding~ xp it happened after we had sungkai. My friends were talking about some Ubd stuff while i was spacing out. When i snapped out of my momentary trance i jumped onto their conversation as follows:

NB F1 and F3: girls, F2: a guy

F1: did you attend it?
F2: yes, i did.
F3: wah..rajin c F2 a..
Me: ada kelas kan? *pretending to know what was going on*
F2: ada jua make-up class ari atu
F3: iatah c F2 ada attend dat day's make up class
Me: ........... *shit*

this is the messed up part...as soon as i heard the term "make up class" i automatically thought that F2 actually took REAL make up classes (one where u learn to put make up and stuff)!! I was shocked and practically dropped the glass from my hand!

Friends: Ngapa ko eh? *stares at me*
Me: .......... WTH??! *still clueless*
Me: you are a guy!!Why take make up classes? *definitely clueless*

And they LTAO.

then came the explanation that revealed my foolishness. They actually meant extra classes, not the literal meaning~man, talk about being "luan belurus." lol :p